Priorities of a Brainless Flower

These are the last blooms of the year from my small garden. Each flower pictured has been   extremely tenacious. Two grew from seedlings, one has an expensive pedigree,  one re-homed to me, and one has changed its color entirely to survive, me. Sometimes I look at the flower that changed its color and I’m a little annoyed it’s no longer the color I wanted, but then I think I can’t really say anything because I pretty much forced it to change color. Can plants throw a protest? Maybe.

I used to love my garden; In the last few years, not so much. Despite my neglect, there are plants that have refused to die.  I have pushed some of them to their limits more than once,  they still made a cheerful come back. Sometimes I have looked at these flowers and wondered, are they  stronger than me? Do they understand life better than me?  Are they motivated by death and/or life? I’m always amazed  how they  insist it’s very important they bloom before they fade away. Maybe we should all be so tenacious about blooming?

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Golden Dreams

It’s been a tough few weeks. Big Bangs happen because everything collides at once, right? Let’s say it’s been a booming few weeks.

I wonder what will come of it all when the dust finally settles? Living in a cloud of dust is uncomfortable, you can’t see clearly, can’t control what happens next. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about balancing the things we can control and  things we can’t. I know people who control every aspect of their life, they still seem very scared and unhappy under it all. I also know people who ride through life on the wind. I can’t say they seem any happier or less stressed than anyone else.

Black . . .

white . . . . . .

is grey where it’s really at?

How much can we balance between birth and death? A lot,  or at least we try, we hope, or insist we can.

I’ve been thinking a lot  about L’Wren Scott, the very successful fashion designer who killed herself last week. She seemed to have it all, and it wasn’t enough. Did her pride whisper, “Your life will never be worth $5 million.”,  Or was it Failure that said, ” I’m not something you can ever live with.”

Failure . . . I have known it. Sometimes I have found it, other times it has found me. Is failure friend or foe? Like many other things, failure is not something we like to think about in this country. We are harsh on those who fail. Look at all the pressure on kids to succeed. Why? So they won’t fail? What makes us better? Success or failure?

success . . .

failure . . . . . .


Can you imagine an entire life of success? Ahh, the dream. Yes, I think we have all imagined it.Who would you be if you  only knew success? Never knew who you were in failure? I bet you’d be a lot less compassionate with yourself and those around you. Who is the master teacher of compassion? Failure? Maybe, I’m not sure. Seems pretty likely though.

L’Wren’s life didn’t come with an instruction book, we all do the best we can. I’m sure she faced her fair share of successes and failures, but maybe never ones so profound as the ones she recently faced? Who knows? Of course, She had other choices she could have made, for some reason she didn’t choose them. Sadly, that’s something her loved ones will be haunted with over time. I’m sure Mick Jagger is baffled why he’s lost  love for a few million dollars.  
Failure, the inability to cope with it, can cast a very heavy, dark, unforgiving and hopless net across a person’s ability to find  better solutions to personal problems. L’Wren’s suicide reminds us how vulnerable our hearts and minds can be to failure, especially creative ones,  if we don’t find a way to make friends with particular aspects and levels of failure.

I say, spend some time failing today. Find a way to smile about it. Failure doesn’t have to destroy you. Love can even grow through some  degree of failure. A powerful lesson worth learning sooner rather than  .  . . too late.

L’ Wren and her work-


the contrast – I admire  L’ Wrens’s ability to have traveled through so many financial and cultural ecosystems. It’s not easy to swim through so many levels and adapt to each levels required adaptations. At the end they say, if they’d have known how alone she was . . .


Peace, love, and compassion to all those who lost her in their life in a physical way.



Funeral directors face a very strong expectation to look professional; The look can quickly be associated corporate and political. Can you imagine a funeral director arriving at your house to receive your loved one wearing jeans? Or scrubs? Maybe some people can, but most can not. It’s funny though, buying a casket at Costco seems fashionable, but dealing with someone wearing jeans is where the line is drawn?
I sometimes wonder if the majority of Americans have lost interest in the art of dressing up; which makes the expectation of conservative dress upon a funeral director even more fascinating. Boy Scouts no longer need a pressed uniform, a jacket is no longer needed for fine dining, in fact, if you want to wear your PJ’s to Starbucks . . . YOU CAN! I won’t even dive into the pull up your pants people, we’ve seen that look for decades now.
I agree funeral directors  should look professional. So, sadly the jeans have to go. I’m not saying I love wearing a suit for every moment of my professional life, but so it goes with responsibility; It’s just part of what it takes. I do enjoy the added respect I seem to receive for no other reason than I’m wearing a blazer.  Some style seems to establish a sort of unspoken contract between people; there will be a level of  respect given and received by your style. I suppose that’s the comfort people need when someone arrives to accept your loved one.
A question comes to mind. Do most Americans prefer comfort over respect?
Polyvore is one of my guilty pleasures in life; I admit it. I like to see what’s up in fashion and design, I usually want everything, but more often, I’m laughing by the end because I have yet to put together a casual look that costs less than a thousand bucks. Frigg’n purses and accessories. Oh well, if you are going to hoard, this is a wonderful way to do it. LOL!!
The tune – Blue Jeans and Diet Mountain Dew